Enlightenment With Attitude

I first saw David Spero by chance at a bookstore in Santa Cruz, California a couple of years ago. I was walking past the store and saw a sign indicating that a teacher was giving a talk that night. I saw the flyer with David's face and took note that "Sahaj Samadhi" was mentioned in the description of the talk. I thought - Sahaj Samadhi? You don't here those words everyday! I thought it was pretentious for this man to claim that achievement! In I went and took a seat in the back, thinking I'd check out just how deluded this guy was. He didn't look like the Enlightened type to me. I admit, I sat there with total attitude thinking that this was going to be yet another episode of the "Advaita Shuffle", where someone has had an intellectual satori and gone on to delude themselves into believing they are that most rare of birds, an Enlightened one. They then proceed to spew the "there's nothing to attain you are already free" rhetoric, somehow failing to realize that years of fierce renunciation and commitment are required. As I said, David didn't look Enlightened ( as if I'd know what an enlightened person looked like), but it seemed that he thought he was. And then.... something caught me completely off guard. I realized that I was feeling a walloping blast of Shakti emanating from him. Surprise, surprise!

David began by explaining that his whole purpose was to share this Shakti with people as a gift and to let it do it's work and that that was sufficient enough for us. I admit that I wasn't convinced that this could be possibly sufficient for anyone, because I knew that no one outside of us can do the work for us and I interpreted that he was suggesting as much - which seemed outrageous to me! Of course, I wasn't being very nuanced and using discrimination in my thinking, nor did I have the right experiences to qualify me making such judgments. I was being dense, instead of feeling any gratitude- which would have been more appropriate. I was arrogant and decided that I wanted to challenge David. It appeared to me that everyone else was uncritically accepting his claims and I thought that with all the half-baked gurus out there with more scandals coming to light everday, some criticality was in order. I raised my hand.

"So...what makes YOU fully-baked?" I relished my irreverence.

David admonished me: "Maybe this isn't for you, hmm? Maybe it's for others here. You'll never get Enlightened with an attitude like that!"

I smugly sat there, feeling proud of myself for having the guts ( or stupidity) to have spoken up. Then I noticed that darn Shakti again. It was so strong that my heart was skipping beats and in spite of my attitude, I was begining to feel really Blissful. Deep down, I knew that something was going on here.

After the talk was finished I approached David to have him sign my newly acquired book and he asked me if I felt a connection to him. I bashfully muttered that I had felt something, but I wasn't about to admit how strong I HAD felt the Shakti. I simply left, smugly satisfied that I had challenged him and that he wasn't fully-baked and that I knew better than everyone else. Not a very productive attitude, eh?

Now, several years later, I keep returning to David in my mind. I recently joined in for David's online session and was so surprised to realize that I could feel that incredible Shakti over the internet! I thought to myself, "what an incredible thing!" I am lucky to have this opportunity to feel this way as are others all over the world!
I have begun to realize what a rare bird David is. His sharing of this energy is pure grace and we have the equally rare opportunity to be in the position to soak it up. How could I have beeen so damn pretentious? Lack of experience—— I wasn't ready. So here I am sitting in front of my laptop, feeling bliss in the heart and the mind has almost completely come to a standstill. This time around, I finally feel able to feel the gratitude that I wish might have been more forthcoming several years ago.

Now, I know that when someone offers you such a precious rare flower... the appropriate response is to say thank you.

Thank you David.