Utility

All of That is Within This

Recorded on: 
01.03.2009

David: Are you happy?

Participant: Not in the moment, no.

David: That's why I'm asking. I am. Can we have a conversation if you're unhappy and I'm happy?

Participant: I guess.

David: Shall we try?

Participant: OK.

David: I'll try to make you happy before I have to hear you. I want to hear what you say in happiness. But if you can't, it's OK. I'm not too sure you know where you are if you're saying you're unhappy. You're saying something different from unhappiness when I look at you.

Participant: It's side by side. There's happiness and then there's unhappiness. I don't know what this is, but it's still a part of me that wants to find it. And what it looks like is that there's something in the way. And what it feels like when I encounter it experientially, energetically, it feels like a wall or a something that prevents the full recognition for expansion, and for bliss and for whatever. That there's this, it almost feels physical. And it seems like if this were to be penetrated, dissolved, blah blah whatever, then I would be; I would be; I would just be. That's what it seems like.

David: Go back to when you were three years old how innocent your mind was; visualize that, two years old [truck sounds] You're just looking out of those eyes. Nothing is really registering in a concrete way, but your consciousness is very full. The only way is not to dissolve what you imagine to be this wall or this difficulty. You can't approach it that way. That is totally impossible. It's not that I don't want to do that for you, or I don't want to alleviate that. It's just that what you're describing would be similar to me saying, “I feel this wall, and I just wish this wall wasn't here.” [David reaches back and touches the wall] Well it is here; it is here. So you just have to walk away from the wall so you can't hit it when you go back. You just have to posture yourself in a way where you're being absolutely aligned with what you really are.

Now if you really pay attention to me, if really give me your attention in this moment and you really love me the way I love you, you'll see that there's no obstruction because That is talking to you, that state of non-suffering where there's no wall, where there's no barrier; there's nothing erected, honestly. It's Love; it's Silence, it's Contentment, it's Peace. And yet you see my mind is very busy, it's even having a full relationship with you in what you claim to be an obstructed state, or semi obstructed anyway. You see how intensely I'm paying attention to you. This is my offering. Now reciprocate. Something changed!

Participant: Well, yeah there's a place where if I focus on you from a deep place, beyond the mind…

David: Right, beyond all that stuff.

Participant: Yeah, beyond all that stuff. There is a recognition, but it still seems to be more over there than over here than here.

David: Forgive that; forgive that. That's like saying, “Well, I want to walk over to you, but I have to take a first step.”

Participant: What?

David: It's like saying, “I want to walk over to you, where you are, but I have to take a first step.” So you're saying - don't you understand what I'm saying? You're saying - you looked at me and you said, “But I feel like it's over there. I can pay attention to you in such a way that my attention will notice this liberation.”

Participant: That it's there

David: Right that it's “over there,” but it's over here. But that's the first step. You have to keep looking; in that it's all your responsibility. It's all your responsibility to keep looking. So what? Why find fault with the fact that it's here. Why find fault with the fact that it's here? Why find fault with the fact that it,s here? What else am I here for? Except that you...

Participant: Well, except that I've been sitting with you for a long, long time.

David: So what?

Participant: Well, I'm...

David: You're dense!

Participant: Huh?

David: You're dense!

Participant: Right!

David: But I still love you! I have no sense that you have to become un-dense. If you ask me these questions for ten more years, I'm still going to lovingly move into this field where I'm just looking at you; I'm just listening to you. I really want to share what I have with you, and I have to wait for this little adjustment in you to just seize that, regardless of what your mind tells you. I'm not interested in the story of your mind, who says that It's here. Of course It's here. It's actually everywhere, but you might notice it first here. Which is OK.

Participant: Well, and sometimes I notice It here, and sometimes I notice It here.

David: Good. Well, what you're saying is that you're still not realized in this to your satisfaction. And the only thing that - Did you hear what I said in my talk about within that process of evolution you fail? You fall. It's not like you feel like you succeeding, but you're loosing your way. You're slipping and falling; you're not remembering, you're going back into the mind; you're suffering. All of that happens within This. It's not like you get rid of that and you're on the pure path of realization. That's a dream. I'm giving you everything, all the answers.

You have to do this in your own way and at your own pace, just like you're doing it. Your approach is good. Your approach is good. It's commendable, because you're not playing any games. You're not saying something that isn't true, and I respect that.