Utility

Meeting David in Person

My desire to meet David in person became very strong over time. I was immersed in Bhakti, my heart was overflowing with longing. I felt as if David had given me everything, even though I live overseas. I knew that sudden realizations are spontaneous and when I had been given the grace to meet David, I came without expectations or assumptions about what might happen.

Before meeting David, I travelled in the United States and had some experiences that others might consider exciting. I however, felt quite the opposite - that my dispassion (Viragya) towards life only grew during my travels, and it did not matter whether I was "having fun" or not. It mattered only what state of consciousness I was in. Only the Self can bring divinity into an experience, otherwise it would be shallow, and there will always be a bitter taste to it of dissatisfaction.

So actually, during my travels and before meeting David, the highlights of those travels were the internet satsangs with him. This was the only thing that felt deep enough. Internet satsangs were a beautiful gift and release to the mind that could not be initiated by any other experience. Even an intense practice could not lead to this degree of intoxication.
It was quite remarkable how I managed to attend those meetings on time, as I have been in isolated places where I thought I would never find a Wi-Fi connection. It was grace. The universe helped me fulfill my desire to be around David.

During most of my travels, and months before it, I had been waiting to attend a live meeting with David. I was totally excited about seeing David, and couldn't think of anything else.
Finally, this moment came and I saw David before me. God, this was a divine moment, I felt like meeting "the Mother". I will not forget this sacred moment of meeting him after so much longing. David was looking beautiful, with hypnotizing blue eyes. I thought that his lovely image represented divinity. There is always something different about the eyes of enlightened persons, but with David it is hard to miss those unworldly eyes.

In these meetings, I met Orley and other people that I have known "virtually" online, and was very delighted to see them. The Sangah is lovely and I was surprised to find out how mature the people are in their spiritual processes. The strong Bhakti of this group touched me very deeply. I also enjoyed talking to David. How can it be more perfect? A spiritual teacher who is open minded, not a bit conservative, with a developed social awareness. It seems like he was contemplating deeply every aspect of worldly life, and gained a lot of knowledge, which resulted in an evolved and unique personality. I felt as if my thinking, conclusion process and views about the world are similar to David's, and it was pleasant to feel close to him also in this way.

My mind was for a period of time in the foreground area of awareness during meetings. It is usually more active when there are people around (however nice they may be). But even at times when the Shakti intoxication was partial during meetings, it always became full a few hours later, when the mind became relaxed. The energies were very fiery in those meetings! I cannot even describe verbally the intensity I felt.

David is divine, the greatest master….

There were also strong longings for David between satsangs. Not being around David, I literally felt as if a part of me was missing. The sweet pain of craving the divine was sensed through the heart and the whole body. I remember one time when these longings were unbearable, my heart was overflowing, crying for David. That day I was driving to Jenner, moving from beach to beach. I knew that David likes Goat Rock Beach, and was curious to find out what might happen there. When I arrived at night, something extraordinary happened - the Shakti, sensed as pure fire, washed over and through me. I felt as if I was that Source of Fire, or an enourmous power station. It was amazingly strong. I was just sitting in my car in the mysterious night near the exploding waves of the ocean, and sensed my head exploding with fire (or maybe there was no head at all).
At the very start of this Shakti activation, the unbearable longings stopped and turned into a deep sweetness of security and relaxation. I knew that David was there with me, and that form or distance didn't matter.

When my travel was close to its end, I felt sad, even a kind of grief. I felt like crying every time I passed through the area where David lives. There was too much intensity of feeling! Sometimes I wished to drive south and not deal with the pain of seeing those road signs. My mind started to plan how to come back and there was a tension to set everything up. But every time I remembered the grace that brought me to David, there was faith in life again, that it will unfold right, without planning on my behalf. When I came back to Israel, I felt more relaxed about it. I realized how much I missed sitting at night (4 or 5 AM) with my computer in solitude and feel the Shakti in the utter silence of the night. The intensity of Shakti, as I experience it, is not weaker through the internet. For me it is even stronger at times, since my mind enables the Shakti, under these conditions, to freely circulate. So I suppose that it depends on one's tendencies, rather than on distance (I was curious about this, since some devotees commented that a personal meeting is more intense).
However, one thing that I feel is hard to deal with from a distance is the lack of intensives and more frequent meetings. There is so much longing from Fridays to Wednesdays. I am so grateful with the gift of meeting David twice a week through webcasts. So much has already been given. I'm still wishing to fill the rest of the week with David's living presence.

I still can't tell how the experience of being a month with David influenced me, and I'm not sure if I will ever know. I'm endlessly grateful for this grace. It was unforgettable. It was a dreamlike experience. It truly took me time to believe and feel that it all really happened. I feel that I was drawn by David into a different reality, a colorful one of light, love and circulating Shakti. When David was talking about himself as "the Mother", I suddenly felt that this was the name to all my recent experiences. When he was talking about the Avatar and the Guru, it made sense why I was feeling that something was lacking with other teachers. The intensive in Petaluma was unforgettable, David's lovely craziness reached a peak.
Reality is crazy with the Mother, and I like it. This is the fullness of life. Focusing merely on Shiva is indeed a compromise. The amazement from David's realization and teachings just grows over time. I love everything about him.
It seems strange that spiritual seekers around the world do not recognize the treasure in front of them, the ultimate gift given with much love for anyone who would like to recieve it (but maybe it's better this way ;)).

Comments

Tal, I cried when I read your experience at Goat Head Beach. So beautiful. Miss you!

By Abha --

Abha

I am so glad to have your comment. I miss you too :)

By ocean

Thank you for sharing this valuable post. I resonate very much with your experience and feelings here. I know how you feel.
Yes, Reality is crazy with the Mother; a wonderful bewildering, anarchic Divine-Love-Bliss.

By michael ortega

Your devotional approach is lovely. I'm delighted to hear that we share similar feelings and experiences.

By ocean