Utility

Reflections on Meditations

April 14, 2009 - Internet meditation: In the Intensive a few days ago, David took us out of our body during the meditation and since then, my meditations have been more focused above my head, more outside my body. Tonight, after a very ecstatic online meditation, as David talked about letting go of each experience and the fact you will find that you never existed….I suddenly realized, I don't know who is meditating any more. I don't seem to know who David is either. The relationship has shifted. Meditating now, I am taken up and away and sense that David is there, but it's a very quiet bliss, outside of sensation. I don't feel as emotionally attached. It is a bit disconcerting but is also, a perfectly quiet bliss. I feel truly outside of the self I knew. I guess that I have to let this go too....A half hour later after a walk, when I close my eyes my whole body feels like it is vibrating slightly, almost like a fine humming sound. Above my head is the focal point of attention, a very quiet bliss. Compared to other meditations where afterwards, I have a sense of having reached a stepping stone, a resting place, tonight, the meditation is still going full blast but in a very quiet way. Looking at David's picture now, His eyes are Mother's eyes. Beyond feeling, my heart is His heart.

April 22, 2009 -1 day after the Internet meditation - Meditating at home: As I get a small glimpse of who you truly are, the overwhelming compassion and love, my heart just cannot contain that immensity and I am suspended helplessly. After what seems like a very long 15 minutes, you come and dissolve me into That cool bliss of eternity, where I can rest.