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By Stephen 2 years 1 month ago

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After some months, I had the opportunity to visit David in California for his most recent intensive. Now is an opportunity to speak from personal experience going forward from that event, from my flickering lamp of meditative practice. Most continually in my thought is still: “I must be something better than what I am” - though less is the grip of that mental condition, that dilemma, than before. Enhanced is my understanding that my field of reality is taking place in thought, the reality of a process engaged in time. Meditation as I “practice” is a suspending of participation in that dilemma and an abiding in that from which thought arises. It is abiding in that actual “I” in which the thought of “I” arises. I must add that this also constitutes a practice of creative imagination. I'm not making a presentation about meditation practice; this is my inner experience always being further clarified. What is actually happening is meditation itself. I cannot possibly acquire meditation, because being meditated is not my calculations creating this result. My “reality” condition tends to capture my attention. That from which all thought arises is not to be noticed: actuality is what can be called divinity, the”I” that is never an object of knowledge. As to David, what exists as his body-mind complex is a direct transmission of divinity with no dilemma. This I intuit directly as that divine nature exists free of dilemma in my own body-mind, though there is a difference in clarity: I still continue with a degree of preoccupation with ideas about my shortcomings. What happens in the company of this enlightened teacher is an energetic explosion of the gripping nature of thought. You can find out yourself.

During the intensive with David, I was experiencing a churning turmoil; even more so than is usual for me when sitting for meditation. I was sitting with my dissatisfaction, the dilemma of my thought-world highly energized. This is when I always wait, meditation, at this stage of clarity, constitutes waiting. With this, is abiding in the divine as I have tried to speak of it earlier. So there was an intensified turmoil which I experienced as an unresolved field of conflict, full of power. I was abiding with that and also with attention to creative imagination of actuality. I was waiting, keenly aware of my proximity to David, when suddenly the churning power engaging my thoughts jumped up as it were, and into my heart, that is, into pure feeling. My body-mind was engulfed by feeling. It was “bliss” with a strong physical current generating goosebumps, and tears, and generalized powerful sensations throughout the body. More significantly there was a release from my mundane realm of thinking, which remained, but with very little meaning or neurotic anxiety.

That yearning state of thought agitation may be discernible as a bundle of varied neuroses. It was really very funny that at the start of the sitting, David joked about those of us wanting to sit closer to him. He spoke in terms of our “neurotic” belief that we would get something more from him that way. However, there are different qualities that we can evoke in our thought world. Let me go back to that moment when the energy transmission awakened my heart. An aspect of my meditation is not simply to take passively whatever my thought-world is presenting - rather I engage my own creative imagination. I employ a number of modalities for this including music and poetry. For example, I evoke a conducive quality in my thought-world with Lex Hixon's English interpretation of the mystic poetry of Ramprasad. These are Bengali songs of his enlightenment composed over 200 years ago, but ever fresh, and amazingly interpreted by Lex. I was engaging a particular poem, offering it to David, when that physical-emotional explosion was gracefully given.

This was an episodic event, it came, it went. Such come and go often in meditative practice – certainly always when in David's physical company. These are “tastes”, as David sometimes refers to them. Bliss is, well, blissful – but does not add anything to what is already actual. Tastes are encouraging and very satisfying to the body-mind complex in the episodic experience. Yet their significance, I find, is in the residual situation of clarity of enlightenment. By this I mean my subjective experience is left at a new register of clarity about actuality, even as the thought-reality may remain at a diminished degree of negative neurotic content relative to creative imagination. Desirous of placing myself physically near as possible to David may be neurotic, but it is my most fond and fruitful imagination. I place my head at his feet. I make offerings.

It is so fascinating and inspiring to hear members of our gathering share about the subjective impact of David's holy company. Listening, it always evokes a sympathetic string in my own experience. It is also a way of learning. I did share my experience during the intensive. Like everyone, I am sure, what we can speak of at that moment can only begin to touch the actuality of what happened to us. David asked if the “turmoil” I spoke of was still present. My answer, “not so much” was a kind of understatement . Now, here, I have been able to share more deeply the meaning of what is a new register of clarity, of light. Every moment with David is full of this significance; in meditation sessions, in the brilliant and funny serious conversations with his devotees, in the small talk with him about whatever. Its all transmission of clarity of enlightenment. I could do no better at the time than offer to him and our gathering the poem:

Mother of the Universe,
What do you encounter in your own meditations?

Mother of Wisdom, you gaze effortlessly
through the insubstantial veil of relativity,
but consider the predicament of the devotee
who is now crying out to you.
Whenever my flickering lamp of meditative practice
is temporarily extinguished,
my opponents, the countless egocentric impulses,
laugh and dance in triumph.

Even though there is oil of devotion
and the wick of concentration is trimmed,
my lamp is constantly in danger of being smothered
by the swarming beetles of selfish desire.
These peculiar and elusive insects puzzle me.
They seem to appear from nowhere.

Yet this helpless child of Mother
is protected even from subtle danger
and sings with joyous release:
“Ma! Ma! Ma!
You have revealed the revolutionary truth.
Regardless of this uncertain lamp,
this inconsistent contemplation,
my essential nature is already light.
I am always within light, O Mother,
always returning home to light.
When these physical eyes close for the last time,
darkness will dissolve into light
and light into you.”

By BHAKTI8 2 years 2 months ago

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Last night I had a dream with David in it. We were in a meditation room and he was giving a talk. I was in the back of the room lying on a bed with my eyes shut, cocooned in a white blanket and speaking another language. It appeared I was in some sort of altered state. Then the dream switched to the meditation being over and I saw David speaking with another person. I walked by and handed him a brown egg. He took the egg, put his finger on the top of it and handed it back to me. Then I woke up. Later that morning I shared this dream with a friend and she said that there is an ancient practice where shaman's use eggs to heal and cleanse people. I looked it up and she was right.
Then tonight after the online webcast my body was trembling with shakti. Even my lips were vibrating. It felt like the shakti was pouring through my skin. I decided to lay down on my bed and allow the shakti to have its way with me. It felt like a powerful release. I think maybe it was related to the dream. In any event I thank David for this release and the dream. Both made my heart expand in love, devotion and the wonderment of life.

By Amina 2 years 2 months ago

We walk together in Being. I will only live in this body as long as You are here. Hmm You saved my life few times. Two times recently but maybe when I was a child too. Do not go near this with words I hear so I wont.

By gabriel5779 2 years 2 months ago

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Thank you David for the light house you are. The boat that I am seems to drift at times from this lighthouse you are but at least by wednesdays you always bring back helping me too continue to flow with the storms of life and all the dark waves entailed in these storms, but you my friend are special lighthouse indeed that no distance can prevent your light from shining to those that love you, i hope to bring this ship closer to the shores of you and the absolute in this no space place. Thank you for bringing this boat home time and time again. Jai My Friend :)

By Stephen 2 years 3 months ago

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This topic, is about a relationship that is a paradox, as there is but one without a second . . . is it from the poet Rumi where the lover knocks on the door: “Who is there?” asks the beloved, “It is me!” - but the door is not opened. Its a beautiful arousal to realize as the lover that the beloved is finding Her expression of Love, Her vehicle, through the lover who knocks and answers Her inquiry with “It is you!”. David is recognized then, detected, as the Divine Feminine.

I don't near often enough come to where David holds intensives with those drawn to the beloved. I don't live near, and especially lately have been going elsewhere, taking some action in the world. Most often it feels futile, more play in mundane desire. That is not really fair to say though, because David, as was said would happen in advance, was there with me in that all along. Still, I am mostly so dull as to be amazed to encounter just the right persons, and also discover others drawn to David, as they were or are already waiting.

The paradox of seeing David everywhere is in the field of Divine Play where “It is me!” repeatedly dissolves in “It is you”. The former is a continuity of pleasure and pain, and it seems at least, to manifest hunger for liberation from that duality in its state of being. This state operates in causation. With “It is you!” is liberation from reasons, from the reality of “It is me!”, and what is exists abiding is the actuality of “It is you!”.

Yet here sits a body-mind complex She manifests, knowing in a limited awareness a memory of Her grace on occasions, toying with playthings now and again until at last I cry “It is you, It is you!”. Is it not also that for the Avatar there is the paradoxical existence of my awaiting that grace, gazing everywhere for you?

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